The Gift of Interruption

by Sally Chambers

Jesus often stopped inthe midst of what he was doing when parents interrupted his teaching to tuck their baby into his arms or place their little ones on his lap. He never rebuked a mother or father or refused to bless a child. He never rebuked his disciples, who misunderstood for a moment the importance of that interruption. Those parents wanted their children to experience the blessing, touch, and attention of this great man, whom they believed to be the Messiah, and those children were blessed indeed.

My mother used to tell of a time when her father interrupted her at her desk as she studied late one night.

He placed a gentle hand on her shoulder and told her "There are sometimes things more important than homework."

And so, she left her studies behind. Her daddy led her outside, and together they entered the dark night, walking into the midst of wonder. Hand-in-hand, the two of them stood and watched the beauty of the shimmering lights in the northern sky.

That's the way my mother told the story of when she was a little girl--of living on Cape Cod--of how her father interrupted her homework one evening, to show her something she must see.

Was that the reason that when I was as deep into dreams as a six-year-old could be, my daddy woke me? "Wake up, Sally, there's something I want you to see."

His soft, whispered words pushed sleep away. And in the dim light, he smiled at me, wrapped my blanket around me, scooped me up into his arms, and carried me out into the night. My daddy interrupted my sleep because he wanted me to see something special--to experience something more important than sleep.

Outside, beneath the cool desert skies of Washington State, he held me and pointed to the lights of the north. Filled with awe, I watched the gracefully undulating, color-filled, shimmering phenomenon that my father explained was the aurora borealis. Even the name was magical to me. I've never forgotten the wonder I felt that night.

Children have a depthless capacity for wonder. Filling that capacity is both a joy and a great responsibility for those who care for them. Interrupting sleep or homework, play or a chore to behold one of God's works is a beautiful and unforgettable gift for any child.

Since that long-ago time, just as I showed them to her, my daughter has seen and pointed out wonders to her own children.

Now, it's my granddaughter's turn to show her daughter those wonders. And so, the gift of teaching a capacity for the wonder of God's creation passes down the steps of time. And yet another generation learns the value of interruptions.

Wha wonders have you shown your little ones? Was it the birth of a new foal? A meteor shower? An eclipse of the moon?

We serve an awesome God!

My daughter, Deborah Sandidge, took the last two photographs in this post. Enjoy more of Deb's work at her website http://www.deborahsandidge.com/-/deborahsandidge/

Home Is Where The Heart Is ~by Desirea Packard~

In honor of Mother's Day!

 I am a step parent to two children. One is 20 and will be getting married in July, and one is 18 and will be graduating from high school in a few weeks. I met these two children when they were 8 and 10. Being a stay at home mom to my child plus these two before I had my own has been rewarding. Being a step parent can be hard especially when there are other personalities involved. I always hoped that I was doing right by them and setting standards for them that I would expect from my own children, but you just never know.

Saturday  my oldest daughter Michelle graduated from college and in the midst of all of that she still remembered that Sunday was Mother's Day. I didn't expect her to do anything, after all I am just her step mom. The card she gave me really hit home to how much of an influence I really have had in her life.

It says You're someone who knows that "family" is the people you love in your life. You're someone whose "motherly ways" have meant the world to me.

After I stopped crying I realized that I have done a good job. You do the best to teach your children the right ways and hope that they take the right path and that they learn from their mistakes. You fight your own battles and learn from your own mistakes, so that when they grow up into adults they don't have to fight the same ones. Family has always been very important in my own up bringing and I always tried to set the example for my children so that they would know, no matter what, your family is always there for you. I know that she understands that. I know that she considers me as much a mom as she does her own mom.

So as parents, step parents or whatever you are to small children who will grow up and be young adults and leave to start their own lives, just remember, that just because you might think you are not setting an example or impacting their lives, you are. There are many things to teach your children, but knowing that I have taught her that family is important and relationships that you build are important lets me know that home is where her heart is and hopefully when she has her own children she will pass along the things that are important in her life to her children.

Loving your children is easy (sometimes). Teaching them to take the right path isn't always. You do the best you can do and pray for them and hope that they will be the adults you have always hoped. But knowing that you accomplished to teach them even a few things to take along with them is rewarding.

So love your children, hug your children, kiss them. Before long (for some of us) they will be gone and grown up. Teach them what is important to you. Pray for them, and leave the rest in God's hands.

Happy Mother's Day to all moms. Being a mom is the most challenging and rewarding job there is. Embrace it.

Work side-by-side!

One of the best things I've ever learned about child-raising is to do everything together!



From baking bread to washing dishes to making the bed, you name it, Ethan's right in there with me, sleeves rolled up, covered with dough, sopping wet. And he's been doing all of this since he was old enough to walk--perhaps even before that!







So many times I see kids cloistered off in rooms full of toys to "play" all day. "Stay out of the kitchen!" and, "Don't bother Mama - she's busy!" or, "She's too young to do that." Is she really too young? Or are her parents too busy (or stressed) to take the time to show her how to properly use it, or get a little water on the floor while she experiments?



Doing simple household chores with your sons and daughters (rather than playing all day with artificial toys in an artificial environment) not only teaches your children how to learn and follow directions, but it brings them into the partnership of family--a family who wants them, needs them, and most importantly, values their help and support.



In fact, most of the time Ethan would much rather help me in the kitchen than play with any of his toys!







His favorite chores that he begs to do? Washing dishes and cleaning the toilet. Why? Because we work together, step-by-step, side-by-side, while I explain to him every step of the way: "Put the brush in there like that. Good! Now watch, because if the bleach gets on your clothes, it'll stain."



Imagine my husband's surprise when he came home from work one evening and Ethan (two years old) pointed the container and said, "Bleach," and then demostrated--with excited gestures--how to clean the toilet, and begged to do it again!



Does it take me longer to finish our work? YES. Do I occasionally end up with bigger messes than I started with? Absolutely. Working with children is a slow and messy process, often requiring prayers against frustration, high expectations, and a perfect--or even near perfect--end result. But the goal is a good one, and our children are wiser in the end. Not every kid can list, with uncanny accuracy, the igredients to make a cake and demonstrate (by getting out the correct mixing bowl and wooden spoon from the cabinet) how to do it, or know the difference between rinsing and washing dishes and when to do which, or how to scrape the plates after dinner.



Of course there are always precautions: Watch out for hot stoves and hot pans. I put Ethan on a stepladder out of reach while I'm cooking so he can see, and ocasionally stir, but only from a distance, and with close supervision. Be careful with cleaning chemicals and bleach, and let him know these are only for adult use. Also be careful with glass, ceramic, or stoneware plates and cups that can shatter if he drops them. When we wash dishes, I always give Ethan plastic cups and plates or blunt spoons, and make sure the water temperature isn't too hot.

All precautions taken into consideration, there are few things I don't let Ethan help me with. Most kids, even as young as Ethan, can do practically anything with guidance: pushing buttons on a blender, holding the mixer (with help), "helping" to make the bed or put on sheets, cutting vegetables with a butter knife while you chop with a "real" one, putting away her own clothes and shoes into easy-access drawers or shelves, watering plants, kneading bread dough or rolling out cookie dough, helping to sweep and mop the floor, and putting away toys and purses and jackets at the end of the day. I even let Ethan pick up the crumbs under the table after he eats, help me sweep it clean, and then carry the dishes to the sink one by one.



Don't forget to make every activity fun, smile even if you're tired, and HEAP ON the praise! If he makes a mess (unless it's in direct disobedience), don't scold. You want his heart open and willing, not closed-off with criticism. Let him help you clean it up, and cheerfully encourage him to try to keep the water in the sink next time.



I don't like mess any more than the next mom, but I've relaxed a bit with time and realized, "It's just water." Dishes can be replaced. Clothes can be washed, or if they're totally ruined, used for painting smocks. Life goes on. But your child is only young and moldable for a finite amount of time, and now is your teachable moment!



As soon as I finish this post I'll be putting together some baked pasta for dinner, and Ethan will help me grate cheese, pour the white wine, measure the spices, and butter the dish.



And when we eat together with my husband tonight, I'll brag on what a great job Ethan did. Who knows? Maybe a few years from now Ethan will be doing it all himself!

Jennifer Rogers Spinola lives in Brasilia, Brazil with her Brazilian husband, Athos, and two-year-old son, Ethan. She teaches ESL private classes and is the author the "Southern Fried Sushi" series with Barbour Books (first book released in October!) Jenny is an advocate for adoption and loves the outdoors, and has previously served as a missionary to Japan.

When Even Spilled Milk is a Gift

There’s a white puddle under my preschooler’s chair, and I’m ready to cry over it.

photo credit: Sylvia Zhang

It’s just one of those days, you know?

Where each roll of dice puts me two steps back on the board game life.

photo credit: D. Shepard

Lunch is finished, but the remnants are scattered on countertop. Laundry’s clean, but piling high {i can't catch up}. Baby’s fed, but he’s fussy and beyond consolation {he’s fighting his nap}. Sure, my shirt’s spit-up free, but now there’s milk pooling on my freshly mopped floor.

Why can’t he keep the house clean for five minutes? {is that asking too much?}

Thoughts & complaints swarm through my mind like flies.

Why can’t I put on lipstick and fancy shoes for a regular 9-5? I’ll take my hubby’s job and he can stay home.

I groan and sigh and mop and lecture.

“Be careful.” My tone is less than pleasant. {to put it nicely}

I swipe the floor to clean the mess and when I stand up, my son searches my face.

“Mommy happy?” He squints his chocolate browns. His words stop me in my track.

Am I happy? His words prick my conscience. Could I be any happier?

How blessed I am to work from home when many women are not able. How blessed I am to serve these souls God’s entrusted to me. To watch them discover the world and know I’m not missing out. How blessed I am to swipe their messes with my own hands.

Yes, even his messes are a gift! My house nests little hands and feet, and I am called Mama.

Though daily circumstances may leave me feeling unhappy, I must choose to see the blessing. I must choose joy—it’s contagious.

I look into my son’s eyes and make a choice. “Yes lovey. Mommy’s so happy.” I plant a kiss on his forehead and he giggles.

“Mommy happy!” He tilts his head back.

Together we laugh at the gift of spilled milk.

Joy N. Malik is a full-time Mama of two boys. She moonlights as a fiction and freelance writer, crafting articles and stories toward justice and change. She enjoys writing about simple living, raising bicultural kids, and faith in the common. Though she’s an aspiring author, she’ll never quit her day job.

Code Word: Annoying

by Melissa Jagears

So my post today is to let you in on a little secret. Your children will annoy you.

Oh, that isn't news to you?

Ok, so it's not that they can annoy you, but I recently stumbled onto the meaning behind why my children getting infuriatingly annoying. It means, "Mommy, I really need you to love on me."

And the more they need my affection, feel neglected, or feel second to whatever I'm giving higher priority to, the more annoying they get. Which just makes me want to tear my hair out because it makes it harder to accomplish whatever it is I'm trying to accomplish.

So, now, if the word "annoying" ever crosses my mind about my child, I'm making a concentrated effort to stop doing whatever it is --chores, work, paying attention to the other child--as soon as possible and give my "annoying" child some one-on-one attention. Not even necessarily a huge chunk of individual time, but definitely a one-on-one-you're-special block of time like coloring a page with them or blowing on their tummy for a few minutes.

And amazingly, the annoying behaviors decrease.

So, from now on, if the word "annoying" pops into my head, I'm using it as a code word for myself--to assess if I've gotten my priorities screwed up and haven't spent enough time with my child.

If your kids are annoying you, I'd challenge you to check your child's love=time meter.

A Sleep Solution

by Sally Chambers

Glimpses and Guidance from the Garrett

Have you just been reminded by that women's magazine on the table that says you need to get your "beauty sleep?" and you know there's no way that's happening? Are you exhausted from conquering cobwebs, creating casseroles, chasing children, and the million other things you have to do every day?

I remember the times when I was exactly that, exhausted and complaining to my mother that 24/7 just wasn't enough. Wise woman that she was, she handed down some sage advice.

"Take naps when your children do."

No, I'm not encouraging you to sleep less, but I am discouraging you from worrying about when you sleep.

It's said that Ben Franklin only slept two to five hours a night, but he caught up on his lost sleep with cat-naps during the day.

Call it a power nap, siesta, or a kid-nap, it adds up to a smoother day. When I followed my mom's suggestion, I had much more energy, my "off-with-their-heads" mood vanished, and even though there was still dust in the corners, I don't think a soul noticed but me.

When you lie down, you will not be afraid; yes you will lie down and your sleep will be sweet. Proverbs 3:24 NKJV

Dealing with Bed-Wetting

by Sally Chambers

Glimpses and Guidance from Grandma’s Garrett

Here’s a question that weighs on a busy mom’s heart.

“How did you deal with a child fully potty trained that still occasionally wets the bed at night?”

Here’s a little bit of help, hope, and encouragement.

Having washed a ton of sheets, rinsed off two little bottoms a gazillion times, dried buckets of frustrated tears, my own included, I can tell you both my two children and I survived without dragging the little problem into adulthood.

How do you deal?

With patience, pull-ups, pads—soft waterproof ones—and prayer, a silent one, for peace of mind and guidance for you and your little one. All will help both of you through the occasional sieges of nighttime bed wetting.☺

Before anything, know that this isn’t at all unusual. Check with your doctor, limit late liquids, overrule unusual stress, try taking them to the bathroom before you go to bed, and above all, assign no blame to either yourself or your child.

Put it in perspective. You don’t have a loving relationship with the sheets—but you most certainly do with your little one. They’re growing in every way there is to grow. They play hard and sleep hard, and nighttime just doesn’t offer the instant potty break that daytime does.

Something you might try is to put her to bed (with a waterproof sheet) wearing daytime underwear instead of a pull-up. It can sometimes be a psychological reminder not to wet her regular underwear. Rewarding for success with sticky stars on a calendar and similar rewards? I’m not so sure that doesn’t backfire, causing stress and disappointment when there hasn’t been a good night, and, as she goes to sleep, anxiety that she might not earn a star. Always reassure to encourage, and never shame as it only heaps on the stress. Mistakes happen and we pick ourselves up and go on from there.

As difficult as it might be for you, I believe it’s much more distressing for them. Just remember it’s a rare grownup that still wets the bed at night. Your little one will eventually grow up and out of it.

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